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Eli's Journal

8th March, 2009. 12:23 am. freaking windshield wipers

Why the hell did it take for-fucking ever to get home tonight? My stupid windshield wiper (driver side one, of course). I was on I-275 and all of a sudden my windshield wiper goes all apeshit on me. I knew I couldn't drive my car home in whatever condition it was in, and I didn't have time to exit right away but I knew I could get off at the next one. So I get off the freeway, and pull over into a Meijer gas station. I called K to tell him what had happened, and that I didn't feel comfortable driving my car in that condition, so could he come get me. No problem, he said. Seeing as how I knew he was an hour from me, I moved my car to the Meijer parking lot itself near garden. And then proceeded to lock my keys in my car. Yes, only I could manage to make a crappy situation crappier in one fell swoop. What was even worse about it is that I didn't even realize I had locked my keys in my car until he got there. Luckily, this Meijer is very close-by his mom's house so his stepdad came with a slim jim and they managed to get the door open. Then they decided to try and diagnose this in the dark with a flashlight in the rain. Whatever. All I needed to know was that I could drive it home. Somehow I could, and somehow I did.

I want to post more about this in detail, but I am way too tired and my brain is shutting down non-essential functions.

Current mood: relieved.

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7th January, 2009. 10:45 pm. new TC judge

I'm watching Top Chef and the new judge Toby Young just compared a avocado sorbet to Tom Cruise's cameo in Tropic Thunder. An unexpected treat. I had to LOL at that.

Cracked my shiat up.

BTW, if you haven't seen Tropic Thunder, SEE IT NOW TODAY! I mean it. Put it in your netflix queue, download it, however you see movies now (non-theater). It is absolutely HILARIOUS.

and Jamie just won the elimination challenge. yay!

Current mood: jubilant.

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27th December, 2008. 2:43 pm. rant about a movie I haven't seen

And it's about a movie that I plan on NEVER seeing. I keep seeing commercials for "Bride Wars". WTF is this bullshiat? The 2 BFF's want to have their weddings at the NY Plaza Hotel. Ok, I get that. You can afford to do this, wonderful. But instead of picking their dates INTENTIONALLY THEMSELVES so they can oh I don't know BE in each others wedding parties, they let the hotel choose the date based on what's available. This seems like lazy and bad planning at best, and selfishness at worst. Since neither of them are willing to change their date, they start sabotaging each others weddings. WTF?!? Are you seriously so bent out of shape about a fucking DAY that you're willing to lose your best friend after how many years of friendship? How about having a dual wedding? Now, I'm going to a wedding in the next year. In fact, I'm in the wedding party. This means, in the real world, that I DO NOT MAKE PLANS FOR THAT DAY! This is why when I got married the first time, when we chose our place, we selected several days based on our needs. It needed to be over a weekend since I had family flying in to MI. We ideally wanted the weather on our side, and made a indoor/outdoor plan accordingly. Granted, I wasn't planning a high-falootin fancy-dancy shindig or anything, but I still managed to get a wedding planned (with definite assistance) in 5 months. Started planning it in January, got married in May. And what the hell is so wrong with delaying something so you can have your wedding at your ideal place? It doesn't seem like either of these weddings are shotgun in any way. Hello, more time to plan?!?! Oh, and my friend who's getting married in 09, her place is GORGEOUS! And she did the smartest thing. She did the civil ceremony in 08, and is having the big to-do on the same day in 09.

This whole thing just bothers me. Immensely. Especially because I've done this before and probably will again.

Current mood: grumpy.

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5th November, 2008. 8:40 am. History has been made!

Last night in the US, I saw and made history. I saw a black man elected President of the United States. I love watching election results come in every 4 years, but this year seemed more special. Maybe it's because this country has had way more than enough of Bush. Maybe we just want something different for the next 4 years (and hopefully 8). Either way, a great thing has happened. I mean great like when you look at something that is large in scope and life-altering. That's great and awesome. I love this because someday my kids are gonna read about this in history books, and I want them to ask "where were you when President Obama was elected?" just like I asked my mom about events that occurred in her lifetime.

I'm not sure I've even totally grasped what happened. Good thing I'll have until January to get used to the idea.

Current mood: indescribable.

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18th April, 2008. 11:09 am. my 2 cents

I've been hearing and reading online about this new children's book that is supposed to educate small kids about mommy's plastic surgery. SERIOUSLY?!?!!? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Why does it not occur to us (by "us" I refer to very generally to people) to accept the new body that comes with having children? You prepare for the actual child coming into your house. Why do we not take the time to realize that hey, we're not gonna be so tight and lithe anymore. And maybe we won't fit the magazine, blogosphere definition of sexy anymore, but who the fuck cares? You just popped out a fucking human being, for christ's sake. I'd like to see any man do that and get his body back into any sort of shape. And why can't we, as women, see the horrible negative message that we're sending our children. IMO, we're just finding a new way to send the destructive message that we hate ourselves, that we need to change ourselves. We don't have to be perfect. We were definitely not made that way. I'd like to stay as biodegradable as possible.

I guess this whole thing pisses me off so much because I am a Fat Woman. Because I am told every day that I am unacceptable. Not by those who care about me or who even know me in a casual sense. But by society in general. I have seen the stares when I eat by myself. I choose to ignore you because I have to fucking eat. I know that I am not the magazine definition of pretty. But I don't care. If everyone was meant to have the same damn body, the world would be a very bland and boring place to live in.

Ok, calmed down now...

Current mood: creative.

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1st April, 2008. 3:14 pm. funniest phone call. ever.

The following is at best a paraphrasing of a real phone call that I had with someone right before I left work today. Cross-posted to MySpace.

Me: It's an outstanding day at Macy's, how can I help you?
Caller: Is Tiffany there?
L: Do you know what department she works in?
C: She works at customer service, where you are.
L: No, I'm sorry she isn't
C: Is Lisa there?
L: This is she. How can I help you?
C: No, you're not.
L: Yes, this is. I'm the only Lisa at customer service at Macy's Ann Arbor.
C: The chubby one with glasses?
L: (puzzled by now) Yes, the chubby one with glasses. You can say the F (meaning fat) word.

By this time in the conversation I've realized that it's someone that works in the store that I used to work with directly so I acknowledged her by name. Then and only then does she figure out that I am in fact who I've been saying I am this entire time.

I know it's April Fools Day and all, but damn people.

Current mood: giggly.

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29th January, 2008. 11:11 pm. Non-Judgemental?

Today there was something interesting that happened at work. Someone from another department came down to customer service where I work, and dropped off a t-shirt and flier from a new gym that's opening up. Not that big a deal, but the "hook" of this particular gym is "The Judgement Free Zone". Now, I realize that I am a somewhat cynical person. And I also realize that I am somewhat sensitive when it comes to working out and my body. It's something I'm working to change, but I know it's still there. So when I see the shirt and flier, the first thought that comes to my head is "I'll believe it when I see it". I've been reluctant to go to any sort of gym since all the trauma of being fat from elementary school through adulthood. I'm wanting to be healthier because of heart disease running all through my family. But this is the one hurdle that has been difficult. Setting foot inside a place that is seemingly dedicated to mock those that look like me. I know in my head that not everyone inside is a mean person, but I also know that fat hatred exists within most people. So seeing an advertisement saying "we won't judge you" sets off my red flags. Either way, I think I'll wait until I hear some word of mouth about Planet Fitness. Incidentally, if anyone knows anything or has had experience with it, let me know how it was. Either good or bad.

Current mood: contemplative.

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21st January, 2008. 7:03 pm. GRRRRR

I understand that circumstances come up where people have to call in, but this is getting fucking ridiculous. This is the second time in as many weeks where the closer called in and I've had to scramble trying to get someone to come in to close so I'm not working a 10 hour day. I hate this shit. I hate not knowing if I'm going to leave when my schedule says I should be leaving. I don't mind the extra time, but it's still shitty. Especially if I had made plans. I do have the option of having a life. I'm feeling better about this than earlier thanks to angry music and having a spot of food. A real meal is definitely in order.

Current mood: irritated.

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11th December, 2007. 11:42 pm. thought someone would have done this already

funny, I've been using it for years now...I feel so trendy.

Current mood: tired.

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27th October, 2007. 8:42 am. Coming To Hershey

Note: this is going to be long.

I made it to the airport on time. I got checked in, luggage checked in and even through security by 9am. It turns out that my gate was changed, so I had to go all the way through the terminal. All I have to say is DAMN! McNamara is so freaking nice! There's all sorts of shit in here. I bought a train case type of purse so that's now in the backpack. There's a place called Jose Cuervo's Tequilyra (or something like that. I'll have to google it later) Which is cool, except I'm flying solo today and would want to go there with friends. Cause that seems like a place to have some fun. And have some tequila.

So now I'm waiting to board my plane. Taking some Dramamine in a few minutes. The last time I flew I felt really sick on board and all I could to to stave off the nausea is to stare at the guy's head in front of me. Now I'm loading up the iPod. I'm putting way more shit on there than I'll probably need for the entire time I'm gone. But hopefully I'll knock some of these out of the playlist in iTunes. I am loving that someone left their playlist open. Currently listening to Back to Black by Amy Winehouse. goddamn she is fabulous. Ok, I should put the laptop away now. I'll be boarding soon.

I arrived in Baltimore without much incident. Although the beverage cart came through right before we started our descent. So while it's starting to get bumpy, the girl next to me is trying to hold her ginger ale. Maybe I'll get something on the flight back, but not open it and just have the ice. Anyway, got off the plane. Went to get my luggage. Found Bill and the kid. I guess my mom's flight was delayed about 30 minutes because due to weather. The kid is completely fascinated by escalators. I'm sure Bill took him up and down escalators at least 10 times. Mom and JoAnne show up downstairs where I meet them. Bill and the kid are looking for them upstairs, but didn't find them. We find the van, and make the hour long drive to Hershey.

Current mood: relaxed.

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